PRIDEblog: Gabby

Showing posts with label Gabby. Show all posts

Showing posts with label Gabby. Show all posts

Closing Out an Amazing Month

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 12:14pm

My father and I used to joke that we couldn't get behind rugby because it seemed to us that it was violence, simply for the sake of violence. As a lover of all sports, I of course know that this is untrue, and that there has to be some object to the game--I just haven't the faintest idea what it is. In this kind of hyper masculine and (yes) violent sport, one would expect that it could be as tumultuous to come out as it would be in professional football or hockey, and still be successful and unscathed. This was very true for Gareth Thomas of the Crusaders.

Thomas came out as a gay man in December. He is the first known out rugby player. What is truly incredible about this fact is that Thomas is an active professional rugby player--not retired. As Americans we are yet to have an active player come out of the closet while playing a mainstream, televised sport, which is not a knock against the out speed skaters and other Olympic Athletes that are featured during Olympic coverage, simply a statement that our only out football and basketball players came out upon retirement and it was even years after said retirement.

One can imagine that Thomas has faced some homophobia since he is still out on the field match after match, and some of it was from fans of the opposing teams. In March, fans of Castleford began shouting anti-gay epithets at Thomas. The outbursts were so outwardly hostile and continuous that the RFL (Rugby Football League) fined the Castleford the equivalent of $60,000. Castleford is going to appeal the decision, but it is unlikely that appeal will succeed. Thomas was said to be touched and delighted that the RFL took such a matter so seriously, and that their were fans in the stands, who told the hecklers to stop repeatedly.

That being said, there are certain people that I feel I must thank for encouraging me, reading the blog, or just spending little pieces of the month with me. First, I have to thank Caitlin for staying on my case to keep my promise and post even when I didn't really feel like it--and I did have a few of those days. I also want to thank Amber Lee for reading and commenting and asking questions all the way from Alaska. Also I want to thank my brother, Derrick, for reading every day, Morgan for going on a reading binge near the end and even commenting, TR Nunley for reposting once or twice, Detrick Brown for his excitement once I kicked my cold, and of course the wonderful group that payed tribute to Stonewall with me (Anna, Veronica, Jackie, Alex, Taylor, Cole, Sierra, and the three who were here in spirit--Matthew, Kelley, and Lindsay Golden). Thank you to everyone, who read, and to everyone, who did their best to keep this month.

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Labels: Athletes, Closing, Gabby, Homophobia, June29, June30, National Pride Month, Thank You

28. That Some of Us Still Remember Stonewall

Monday, June 28, 2010 7:15pm

I have been wondering what I would write today for the entire month now. Today, is arguably the most iconic moment in the gay rights movement as we know it, but unfortunately, not people remember it.

Today is a day that should stand in its own importance. It is the shot that heard 'round the world, the day we stood up and said "No More!"; it is the 4th of July and Easter and Memorial Day all rolled into one. Today should be a day that lives in infamy for the opposition and the day that we took back a little corner of the world for us.

41 years ago today, our brothers and sisters refused to be victims as they had often been before. They stood up to the then oppressive NYPD and would not be taken into custody. They would no longer endure humiliation, taunting, beatings, and in some extreme cases rape. Instead, they turned the tables on the very people, who swore to protect and serve them; they held their oppressors captive in the bar that was supposed their safe haven.

27. That Seattle Hangs Their Pride High

Sunday, June 27, 2010 2:48pm

26. That Henry Schalizki and Bob Davis Are Legally Wed

Saturday, June 26, 2010 12:44am

I was on my way to bed when I came across an article that put tears in my eyes. On June 20, 2010, Henry Schalizki and Bob Davis were married in Washington D.C. I realize that these are not famous men, and their names probably don't mean anything to any of you, but I hope to remember those names for a long time.

When the District of Columbia legalized same-sex marriage, Schalizki was very excited to have a wedding--Davis didn't see much of a point. They have been together for sixty years! Their wedding photos, and beautiful love story are on the website for The Washington Post.

Making Up for Lost Time

Friday, June 25, 2010 1:02pm

This week, the Supreme Court ruled (8-1) that making the petitioners in favor of repealing the D.C. law that allows the district to perform same-sex marriage legally via ballot initiative does not violate the first amendment. This effectively, makes the names on the petition public record. I guess that means if you want to be a bigot, you'll have to do so in plain view. Perhaps, if that's the case it will deter more of the lukewarm signers more reluctant to sigh away the rights of their friends and neighbors. I'm calling it a victory.

Keeping with the marriage theme, Freedom to Marry (think: White Knots) has announced that it is going on tour this summer. This announcement came after NOM (think: Carrie Prejean) announced its summer tour. In honor of wedding season, the National Organization for Marriage decided to launch a summer tour to "preserve" marriage, and so, Freedom to Marry decided that they'd do their own marriage tour to try and break down the conservative ideologies that keep us coming up on ballots and as the issue that divides America. Visit the Freedom to Marry website to sign up to volunteer.

22. That Secretary Clinton Has Beautiful Things to Say to Us

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 10:09pm

I found this, and feel as though it stands alone quite well. Enjoy!

21. That Both Candidates Are Behind Us

Monday, June 21, 2010 10:28pm

19. That We Are Included

Saturday, June 19, 2010 3:20pm

Short post today since I'm feeling under the weather and heading off to work. Today's post and tomorrow's are going to be based around fatherhood since it's Father's Day Weekend.

I was sitting in a class that features local filmmakers and teachers coming in and out and sharing what they are working on, how they got where they are, where they hope to be, etc. when the head of my department--a man, who I love and admire deeply--spoke about presidents, who changed the country as we know it. He was writing an article about Presidents Lincoln, Kennedy, and Obama and their personal lives. This was of particular interest since President Obama is a president, who puts so much emphasis on the importance of fatherhood. He takes such care with media exposure when it comes to his family and takes great pride in his two beautiful daughters. I really reflected on this and how wonderful it really was that fatherhood is really being celebrated in our culture--and not the classic bread winning, no-nurture/no-nonsense epitome of masculinity that post-war America celebrated.

My own father takes his duties as a parent very seriously, and always tried to be the kind of father I imagined that he wanted--his own father left his family when my father, his brother and sister were relatively young. He never hesitated to give us the love and affection that he thought children should receive, and I was always grateful for that.

President Obama took the time to issue a proclamation about Father's Day, and the importance of fathers and fatherhood. In it, he mentions that families come in many shapes and sizes and that children may grow up with a step-father, no father, or even two fathers. I am honored (proud even) to have a president, who takes the care and time to recognize that ALL families matter.

18. That We Meet Bigotry With Understanding

Friday, June 18, 2010 4:20pm

Two students at Southern Oregon University aged 19 and 20 recently took a permanent marker to a gender inclusive floor of one of the residence halls on their campus where they wrote homophobic slurs on the doors of the students. Several LGBTQ students lived on the floor.

The two boys were charged with second degree criminal mischief and intimidation. The intimidation charges were dropped, and the boys were fined for second degree criminal mischief after pleading guilty and offering an apology.

"Kevin and I would like to say that we're deeply and sincerely sorry to all that were affected," Adkins said.

"Absolutely," said Novotny, who sat beside Adkins in an empty SOU math classroom.

"We're good people, we just made a mistake," Adkins added. "It was a reckless act. It wasn't supposed to be a hate crime or anything like that. It was a poor choice of words."

The university had to decide what course of action it would take. Initially, the thought was severity would range anywhere from a one-year suspension to permanent removal from the institution. Instead the two are receiving an education. Kevin Novotny and Blake Adkins must complete volunteer service at Queer and Women's Resource Centers in addition the Multicultural Center and attend a gay rights meeting.

Admittedly, I thought this was a slap on the wrist at best. I was a little upset that the boys weren't expelled, but then I thought about it and read some more. What service would SOU being doing those boys by expelling them? As an higher education institution, it is the job of the university to educate those boys both in their academic course work, and of the ways of the world. Would expelling them really teach them that spreading that kind of poison (to borrow from Glee) is unacceptable, or would it merely leave them vulnerable to the kind of people, who prey on those with feelings of resentment. Perhaps, these two young men will learn from their volunteer work that those words are truly harmful to all people, and that it is the duty of all people to stand up for what is right.

17. After 41 Years We Still Pay Homage

Thursday, June 17, 2010 5:42pm

I was going to save this post for the 28th, which I sacrilegiously refer to as Gay Easter, but a news story I came across inspired me--don't worry I'll revisit the actual event on the 28th.

It is obviously odd to some to find that a heterosexual married couple would be undertaking a project that highlights a pivotal moment in queer history, but Davis is no stranger to the community. While, she doesn't subscribe to a particular label, she did have relationships with both men and women before her marriage--she even took her high school girlfriend to the prom in a full tux. Davis and Heilbroner have a history with queer subjects that includes Southern Comfort, a story of a transsexual that took the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance.

16. That Victoria Kolakowski Might Make History

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:30pm

I should've written this post after my out candidates piece, but the information was a little hard to come by. Victoria Kolakowski is an administrative law judge in Alameda County, California, who has bravely decided to run for Superior Court Judge in her county.

Kolakowski moved to Berkley with her former partner before they broke up. Since then she has relocated to Oakland with her wife, Cynthia--they were married in 2004 with the help of Mayor Gavin Newsom, which was later invalidated, and then remarried in 2008 before the Prop 8 Vote.

While, it would be truly incredible to have an out lesbian in the Superior Court system, leaving it at that would be selling Mrs. Kolakowski short. If elected in the November Runoff, Kolakowski would be the first known transgender judge elected in the country.

How do you like that?

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Labels: Gabby, June16, National Pride Month, Politicians, Prop8

15. That Divas Live Continues to Fill Seats

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 5:21pm

And while an activist's job is never done, we like to have a little fun every now and then to. As an organization, we like to blow off a little steam toward the end of the year, and what better way than with drag performers! This year we've have unprecedented success when it comes to getting people to our programs, but our annual drag show continues to be our most successful. My sophomore year we packed 250+ people into the Warwick Center Ballroom after a year of being disappointed by lack of interest and criticism of the other events that we planned and supported. Divas was the beginning of a new era for our humble little student org.

14. That Being Called Gay Isn't Always an Insult on the Pitch

Monday, June 14, 2010 5:00pm

Often, situations that require men to be seen as especially "masculine" are breeding grounds for gay slurs. In these situations calling another male anything that hints at an identity outside of the hetero-normative "ideal" leads to a violent response--perhaps, to reaffirm his masculinity. It is because of this that we are most surprised when an athlete comes out, but I found myself even more surprised when I read this story.

Swedish soccer star, Freddie Ljungberg of the Seattle Sounders, has had an incredible career in the global game, which includes playing for his home country, two English Premier League Clubs, a club in Sweden, and of course the MLS team that he currently represents here in the USA. In addition to his career on the pitch, Ljungberg was asked to model for Calvin Kline and was also voted Best Dressed Man in Sweden in 2002.

Ljungberg is 33, single, and lives alone. He has been quoted as saying things like he appreciates the "serenity and privacy" that living in Seattle has afforded him. These things coupled with his excellent style--and conjecture that soccer is inherently homosexual--make for great rumors.

Speculation has surrounded Ljungberg for years, and now he's talked about it to the press. While, he gave the standard keeping my private life private response, Ljungberg did something really cool too. He said, "There’s been a gay rumor for a long time. I don’t mind at all. I am proud of that. I love fashion, and I think so many gay people have amazing style. So that is a compliment to me. I really don’t know why people are so interested. I just made a decision that I won’t talk about it."

For those of you, who didn't see it, a professional athlete said he was HONORED that gay rumors surround him. Yes, I am aware that it was because of the stereotype that gay people have excellent style, but that's one stereotype I'm willing to take with a smile and a nod. ;-)

13. That UNCW Is Catching Up

Sunday, June 13, 2010 3:26pm

With the help of Dr. Jose Hernandez, the Associate Provost of Inclusion and Diversity, UNCW established the LGBTIQA Center. We now have the office across the hall from the queen of multiculturalism herself, which was formerly occupied by Centro Hispano--don't worry, they got an upgrade across the hall. This year, the LGBTIQA Center with leadership from the very talented Amy Schlag took the initiative to start some traditions. Amy set up our first ever Family Values Brunchcomplete with some excellent presentations about the state of Wilmington (and a broader picture of the state thanks to ENC) and some nifty awards for some very important people--and our first ever Lavender Graduation.

10. That the State Department Doesn't Just See Pre/Post Operation

Thursday, June 10, 2010 11:30am

Gays, lesbians, and bisexuals often bemoan the stigmas and stereotypes attached to them. As activists, many of us spend our entire lives trying to get our hetero-normative counterparts to see us as people and not as media portrayals/spiritually wayward vessels of corruption, but what we experience pales in comparison to the kind of marginalization and harmful stereotypes that are thrust upon the transgender community.

While I could easily write an entire post on the effects of transphobia and the importance of transgender revolution, this is pride month, and I'm writing upper posts this month ;-). One of the most problematic ways that we think about the transgender community is in terms of the operation (generally post/pre-op). This is so problematic since it assumes that all transgenders want to undergo surgery, which is not always the case. Some are content simply to undergo hormone therapy, and others still are content simply knowing that their physical appearance doesn't match, who they are on the inside (never mind all the places in between).

There are many people--gay, straight, and otherwise--who just don't get it, but thankfully someone in the State Department does. The State Department waited until National Pride Month to announce its new passport policy. In order to get your gender to accurately reflect yourself, you simply need documentation stating that you have undergone appropriate treatment for Gender Dysphoric Disorder (GDD), and appropriate treatment does not mean surgery.

These guideline were suggested by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). For more information read this story.

9. That More Out Politicians Are in the Running

Wednesday, June 9, 2010 7:00pm

So, I've already tackled coming out and how important it is, but with the huge victories in the primaries last night, I couldn't help but gloat.

This year, the Victory Fund backed 21 candidates in the primaries. Of those 21, 17 are moving on to General Elections; that's roughly 81% for you statistic junkies out there.

81% of out LGBT candidates backed by the Victory Fund have a chance to serve Americans in states across the country. Candidates like Steve Pougnet and Bryce Bennett. Pougnet is the openly gay mayor of Palm Springs, who will be facing Congresswoman Mary Mack Bono, Sonny Bono's widow, in the California 45th. Bryce Bennett is a 25-year-old running for the Congress. Bennett worked for the DNC in Montana during President Obama's campaign, and he also worked against Montana's CI-96, which unfortunately passed.

While the fact that 17 out politicians are running with help from the Victory Fund, we can easily see that that it is not enough. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have more community members in the room with a voice and a vote when things like DADT, ENDA, and DOMA are on the floor--that means more allies too.

But I'm not complaining. 17 isn't enough, but it's a damn good start!

8. That the Best Show on Television is By One of Us for All of Us

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 11:22pm

I realize that this post is coming rather late in the day, but I wanted to wait.

Today, I was wowed yet again by a show that I didn't even want to like. Tonight the Glee's first season came to a close on a beautiful and bittersweet note. The cast and crew managed to tell an underdog story that we all know in a way that doesn't cease to entertain--plus, it's got a good beat and I can dance to it.

Glee was originally going to be a feature film, but I suppose Ryan Murphy (creator of Nip/Tuck) decided to stick with what he knows. Mr. Murphy has really struck gold with Glee, which has already struck a deal for a third season before even filming the second one. As a film student, who wants to create things that do social work, Ryan Murphy serves as a positive role model for me--he is a proud, outspoken, principled, gay man. He has created two hit shows and helped a young Chris Colfer start his career as an out actor--while managing to support other out actors and allies (Neil Patrick Harris, Idina Menzel, Kristin Chenoweth, Johnathan Groff).

Beyond all of that, Glee is the story about the marginalized, the misfits, and the insecure coming together to make something bigger than themselves. It's the classic American underdog story combined with the musical tradition on which Hollywood was built. Glee is for all of us. In a way, it's about all of us.

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Labels: Gabby, Glee, June 8, Murphy, National Pride Month

5. That Oliveira Is Home Where He Belongs

Saturday, June 5, 2010 5:00pm

I've been following a story for a little over a year now that really tugs at my heart strings.

Genesio Oliveira, a native Brazilian man, was deported from the this country and separated from his LEGAL husband, Tim Coco. The two were wed and lived in Massachusetts. While this is unfortunate, it is in more unfortunate that this country denied Oliveira asylum based on the violence that he faced in his country.

In 1994, the United States ruled that it could grant asylum based on violence/imminent danger due to sexual orientation--thanks to Janet Reno--however, Assistant Attorney General Ronald Weich, didn't think that the fact that Oliveira was raped as a teenager was a problem--he remarked repeatedly that Oliveira was never physically harmed. I would like to point out that a handful of transgendered individuals from have been granted asylum due to violence that was done to them so, it was not as if this was the first time such a case was heard.

It is common knowledge that marrying a US citizen ensures asylum in this country; however, the Defense of Marriage Act prevents same-sex couples from benefiting from this. Since the federal government doesn't recognize same-sex marriage and the Assistant AG saw no need to allow Oliveira to stay in this country, he was sent home to Brazil, away from his husband and back to the place where he was brutalized.

Luckily for Oliveira and Coco, John Kerry was paying attention. The Massachusetts senator and former Democratic Candidate didn't flip flop on this issue for an instant. Kerry worked to reunite the couple--not wavering or giving up, even when Oliveira was denied entry to the country to stand with his family as they buried Coco's mother. Finally after three years, Kerry managed to push federal officials to allow Oliveira back into the country on humanitarian grounds.

Oliveira is now back where he belongs, with his husband in the home they bought together.

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Labels: DOMA, Gabby, John Kerry, June 5, Marriage, National Pride Month, Oliveira

4. That We Keep Coming Out

Friday, June 4, 2010 11:18am

"While 57% of Americans oppose legalizing gay marriage, Americans who personally know someone who is gay or lesbian are almost evenly divided on the matter, with 49% in favor and 47% opposed. Among those who do not personally know anyone who is gay, 72% oppose legalized gay marriage while just 27% favor it."

That statistic is a year old from a Gallup poll. Caitlin posted it Friday, June 5th, 2009 as a way to share the importance of coming out. By now, most of us have seen Milk, and we know how that the man, who was perhaps the greatest LGBTQ activist of all time, thought that coming out was the most important thing we could do for the cause. I would have to say that I agree with him.

When we come out we put a human face to our issues. I'm not saying that means we should all rush head long into being out without accessing the consequences (see: Sara Isaacson), but coming out prevents people from being able to talk about us and our rights in the abstract. Instead of saying that "Gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry", they must think that "My son/daughter/brother/sister/neighbor shouldn't be allowed to marry". Unfortunately in some cases this doesn't always change hearts and minds, but in a lot of cases it does.

Just so you know, we have continued to come out. We see it in our celebrity culture (Adam Lambert, Ricky Martin, Chris Colfer, Sean Hayes, Chely Wright, etc.), but more and more average people are coming out too. If there's any evidence in that, it's the results of this year's Gallup poll (the opposition has gone from 57% to 53%, closing the gap to only 9 percentage points in their favor).

Keep coming out!

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Labels: Coming Out, Gabby, June 4, National Pride Month

3. More of Our Families Are Standing Up

Thursday, June 3, 2010 12:35pm

For far too long, our coming out stories have been riddle with the pain of families, who couldn't understand or accept us and who we are. So many of these stories are still very real, but more and more we are getting to see supportive families; we are fortunate enough to see a new kind of family emerging--one that is filled with support, acceptance, and unconditional love. Of course, in the most famous cases these supportive parents have been thrust into the limelight in the most terrible instances of tragedy and cruelty. I was fortunate enough to meet one of these incredible parents when I was a sophomore. Slyvia Guerrero, whose daughter Gwen Araujo (an MTF transgender) was brutally murdered, has become the picture of acceptance and advocacy. Guerrero travels around the country speaking to people about the heinous nature of hate crimes, educating people about transgendered people and their issues, and promoting acceptance of all people. Beyond that, Slyvia even offered to try and speak to my grandmother--since she is bilingual as well--about the necessity to accept our (grand)children for who they are.

Naturally, when we think of the supportive mother, our minds go first to Judy Shepard. Judy has become THE voice of hate crime legislation (along with her husband, Dennis) since Matthew Shepard was murdered in Laramie, Wyoming. She has formed a foundation in his name and spent plenty of time in Washington fighting for victims of these crimes of bias with a fervor that can only be attributed to unconditional love. Judy has gone above and beyond in the name of her son by appearing on commercials, raising money, traveling the country, and even writing a book--a book that stressed how normal her son was and how ordinary their relationship was.

While these extraordinary cases are the example that we see on television and on the news, the rise of the ally parent/sibling is on the rise. Organizations like PFLAG help to encourage the people in our lives that are often shocked by our revelation to become the biggest allies of all. It has been my privilege to know some wonderful ally parents. My girlfriend's parents have become incredible allies in my time knowing them--so much so that they wrote their congressman to let him know how important an issue job discrimination is in the LGBTQ community. When he responded that he opposed measures like ENDA because he had to protect Christian small business owners, they responded assuring him that as Christians and small business owners that his answer was insufficient and unfair.

This story is not so irregular anymore. In fact, I find more than ever that stories without supporting parents are becoming more and more archaic in middle America. This is a good sign, but we are far from a ideal for queer people revealing their identity. Hate crimes are still on the rise, the number of gay homeless teens is ever increasing, and scholarships for students, who are disowned after coming out, are still very necessary in higher education.

In the meantime, let's thank the parents/family members, who are accepting the challenge of accepting all of us, and continue to challenge those, who aren't.

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About PRIDE

PRIDE was established on campus in 1986 as the Gay and Lesbian Association to meet the needs of the LGBTIQA community. PRIDE is a UNCW student organization dedicated to the recognition of students, faculty, and staff who have individual and unique personalities and would like to discuss current social issues. We primarily deal with issues concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer and allied (LGBTIQA) communities.

For our community members who identify as such, we are an open safe-haven, resource center, and activist organization. And we really like to talk!

We whole-heartedly believe in the power of words. And while all of our members are not as outspoken as others, we encourage the presence of all members at events so that we may all learn something from others.