Thursday, June 3, 2010 12:35pm
For far too long, our coming out stories have been riddle with the pain of families, who couldn't understand or accept us and who we are. So many of these stories are still very real, but more and more we are getting to see supportive families; we are fortunate enough to see a new kind of family emerging--one that is filled with support, acceptance, and unconditional love. Of course, in the most famous cases these supportive parents have been thrust into the limelight in the most terrible instances of tragedy and cruelty. I was fortunate enough to meet one of these incredible parents when I was a sophomore. Slyvia Guerrero, whose daughter Gwen Araujo (an MTF transgender) was brutally murdered, has become the picture of acceptance and advocacy. Guerrero travels around the country speaking to people about the heinous nature of hate crimes, educating people about transgendered people and their issues, and promoting acceptance of all people. Beyond that, Slyvia even offered to try and speak to my grandmother--since she is bilingual as well--about the necessity to accept our (grand)children for who they are.
Naturally, when we think of the supportive mother, our minds go first to Judy Shepard. Judy has become THE voice of hate crime legislation (along with her husband, Dennis) since Matthew Shepard was murdered in Laramie, Wyoming. She has formed a foundation in his name and spent plenty of time in Washington fighting for victims of these crimes of bias with a fervor that can only be attributed to unconditional love. Judy has gone above and beyond in the name of her son by appearing on commercials, raising money, traveling the country, and even writing a book--a book that stressed how normal her son was and how ordinary their relationship was.
While these extraordinary cases are the example that we see on television and on the news, the rise of the ally parent/sibling is on the rise. Organizations like PFLAG help to encourage the people in our lives that are often shocked by our revelation to become the biggest allies of all. It has been my privilege to know some wonderful ally parents. My girlfriend's parents have become incredible allies in my time knowing them--so much so that they wrote their congressman to let him know how important an issue job discrimination is in the LGBTQ community. When he responded that he opposed measures like ENDA because he had to protect Christian small business owners, they responded assuring him that as Christians and small business owners that his answer was insufficient and unfair.
This story is not so irregular anymore. In fact, I find more than ever that stories without supporting parents are becoming more and more archaic in middle America. This is a good sign, but we are far from a ideal for queer people revealing their identity. Hate crimes are still on the rise, the number of gay homeless teens is ever increasing, and scholarships for students, who are disowned after coming out, are still very necessary in higher education.
In the meantime, let's thank the parents/family members, who are accepting the challenge of accepting all of us, and continue to challenge those, who aren't.
For far too long, our coming out stories have been riddle with the pain of families, who couldn't understand or accept us and who we are. So many of these stories are still very real, but more and more we are getting to see supportive families; we are fortunate enough to see a new kind of family emerging--one that is filled with support, acceptance, and unconditional love. Of course, in the most famous cases these supportive parents have been thrust into the limelight in the most terrible instances of tragedy and cruelty. I was fortunate enough to meet one of these incredible parents when I was a sophomore. Slyvia Guerrero, whose daughter Gwen Araujo (an MTF transgender) was brutally murdered, has become the picture of acceptance and advocacy. Guerrero travels around the country speaking to people about the heinous nature of hate crimes, educating people about transgendered people and their issues, and promoting acceptance of all people. Beyond that, Slyvia even offered to try and speak to my grandmother--since she is bilingual as well--about the necessity to accept our (grand)children for who they are.
Naturally, when we think of the supportive mother, our minds go first to Judy Shepard. Judy has become THE voice of hate crime legislation (along with her husband, Dennis) since Matthew Shepard was murdered in Laramie, Wyoming. She has formed a foundation in his name and spent plenty of time in Washington fighting for victims of these crimes of bias with a fervor that can only be attributed to unconditional love. Judy has gone above and beyond in the name of her son by appearing on commercials, raising money, traveling the country, and even writing a book--a book that stressed how normal her son was and how ordinary their relationship was.
While these extraordinary cases are the example that we see on television and on the news, the rise of the ally parent/sibling is on the rise. Organizations like PFLAG help to encourage the people in our lives that are often shocked by our revelation to become the biggest allies of all. It has been my privilege to know some wonderful ally parents. My girlfriend's parents have become incredible allies in my time knowing them--so much so that they wrote their congressman to let him know how important an issue job discrimination is in the LGBTQ community. When he responded that he opposed measures like ENDA because he had to protect Christian small business owners, they responded assuring him that as Christians and small business owners that his answer was insufficient and unfair.
This story is not so irregular anymore. In fact, I find more than ever that stories without supporting parents are becoming more and more archaic in middle America. This is a good sign, but we are far from a ideal for queer people revealing their identity. Hate crimes are still on the rise, the number of gay homeless teens is ever increasing, and scholarships for students, who are disowned after coming out, are still very necessary in higher education.
In the meantime, let's thank the parents/family members, who are accepting the challenge of accepting all of us, and continue to challenge those, who aren't.
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